Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I finally said out loud to myself that I was gay
2. I finally said out loud to myself that I was gay
It wasn’t so much a confession, I simply said during a prayer one evening, “Heavenly Father I’m gay and I’m really not sure what that means and what I can do about it.” I’ve always believed that praying out loud, being able to hear yourself as you pray, is very much part of the therapeutic process of prayer. That was the case with this experience, from memory I opened my eyes and looked up. I’m not sure what I was expecting to see, but I felt empowered, I felt like I’d come out of my own closet. Albeit still deep within a greater wardrobe.
It was something I had thought about for many years, but to say it out loud helped me own the situation. I had to admit to myself who I was if I was ever going to be able to admit it to family and friends I was gay.