One of These Kids Will Grow Up To Be Fabulous

I Cried Laughing

Last night my partner showed me the photo below which he had stumbled across on someone's facebook page. Without even reading the text I almost suffocated laughing. Once I read the text and looked at the faces of the boys to his left and right, I laughed even harder.

I think what I liked about this was the complete absence of any gay hate text and just a kid being embraced for who he is. I think I also see a little of myself, I'm not sure I was quite that "fabulous" when I was his age - but I probably felt it inside.

Won't it be a good day when we can just embrace people, especially kids, for who they are and not through what we expect them to be. If you know any kids like this little fella, let them know that when they grow up, they're also going to be fabulous.

"I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay"

A Brave Young Man (This is a Stock Image I think)

A Great Blog To Share with Str8 Parents Who Hold Onto Hate

I came across this blog which a friend had posted to his facebook wall this morning. It's a great story about one very brave young man living in a very conservative Christian neighbourhood. It could be Provo, it could be Sandy or Salt Lake City. Take a moment to read the blog. It's also a good story to share with any parents that you know may be struggling with their child's sexuality.

Read Responses to the his blog here. The original blog post "I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay" was posted by Dan 14 November, 2011.

Single Day Laughing

You can read all about Dan Pearce and his son Noah at his Blog "Single Dad Laughing". He's seems like an awesome Str8 guy, with a beautiful son and is compassionate to all sorts of people. The world seems a better place with people like Dan.

NOTE: I included a link in the image above to the Blog, but Blogger does not seem to like this, it links to an error page. Sorry, I'm not sure why that's the case.

A Sad Day

An Elegant Lady 

I had a call from my old Bishop on Sunday evening, he called to tell me that Sister Williams had passed away. Sister Williams was in her 70's, a beautiful, elegant Maori sister from New Zealand. She was a classy lady, sharp and very active.


She'd had two liver transplants in her life and it was cancer that finally took her life. I met her 20 years ago when I first moved to the Sydney and I'd been in her Ward on and off over the years. I'd been her Home Teacher and then when I was ordained a High Priest, we again met more regularly as she was a single older sister. High Priests have a responsibility over this group of sisters within the ward.

The Opportunity Being

This means I have a funeral to attend this week. It's been just over two years since I stopped going to Church, I've been once to attend a good friend's daughters baptism. The challenge or opportunity here is that I will see a group of people whom I care about, but have exiled myself from for the past two years albeit facebook updates and the odd email.


At this stage, anyone I really care about knows I'm gay and most probably know I'm in a relationship with a fabulous guy. "Fabulous" being my word, probably not theirs.

Added Complication

I'm really bad at funerals, by that I mean I could attend a strangers funeral and cry like a baby. I'm shocking. After the phone call on Sunday from my old Bishop, I sent an SMS (text message) and a few facebook updates to mutual friends who are not in Sydney. I thought they'd want to know about Sister Williams.


A friend from Melbourne called, the mother of some friends. She had been friends with Sister Williams for almost 40 years, they knew and loved her and they also love me. When this sister called, I lost it. I balled on the phone like a baby. She had said that just three weeks ago she was talking with Sister Williams and she mentioned me. She said "I wish Derek was still here, I miss him, he was always so kind to me and helpful".


That's what set me off. You see about two months ago a friend contacted me and said Sister Williams was asking after me and that I should call her. Like many of you, meeting up with members of the Church once you've made your "coming out" a reality can be difficult. This was difficult. You can imagine how I felt.


However, the call from my friend in Melbourne and her passing on the comments from Sister Williams meant the world to me.

A Lesson Learnt

There are people out there whom I love, who I've shared life experiences with that I've separated myself from. I don't want to feel again the feelings I felt when Bishop called, the feeling that I'd missed a chance to tell someone that I love them. It's not so much about "coming out" to them, it's just reengaging with them and behaving as friends behave.

Life's too short, get out there and tell those important to you that you love them. At the same time, you need to keep your expectations in check about how they'll respond given your sexuality.  

Connecting Via Facebook

A few years ago, an LDS guy here in Sydney started a facebook page called "Aussie Gay Mormons". He decided to "leave" facebook last year and asked if I wanted to take over as the administrator of that page.


Sure, I'm on facebook most days sharing insights into my view of the world and sharing photographs etc from road trips. Why not.


As I watched some of the videos from the guys and gals at BYU - the "It Gets Better" campaign, I was inspired that they mentioned how social media and blogs were one way that they were able to discover that they weren't alone.


So, our little facebook group plods along. We have highs and lows of activity amongst the group. I'm now motivated to do more and try and get the group more engaged. Really, it's about providing an opportunity for those who want to reach out and talk with someone. We have a group of guys and a few girls who have been through the coming out process and can offer and LDS view into being gay.


Feel free to look for us on facebook.

BYU Students Come Out On Campus

WOW!

These kids are brave, good on them. I've included a few links below to some of these amazing guys and gals who have come out to help you understand that it really does get better.


You can watch John Patrick share his very Utah LDS Gay experience:





Here's some links to some other amazing LDS guys and gals.


It Gets Better BYU - Nathan C.

It Gets Better BYU - Heather

It Gets Better BYU - Adam


Show your support for these guys, login to YouTube and say thank you.

"You're welcome to come along"

A close girlfriend and I drove down to Canberra on Thursday to spend a couple of days with her brother for Easter. I had to be back Saturday night so I'd be here to pick up my man from his overseas holiday Sunday morning.


She has an old friend in Canberra, they served together for six months in the mission field. The friend knows I'm gay and also knows that my friend is less active. I dropped her off Friday afternoon then went for a drive around Canberra to find a cafe, read, blog and then pick her up a few hours later.


When I arrived to pick her up, her girlfriend and her husband greeted me at the door. There was some polite conversation and I could see they were off to Church for what I assumed was an Easter fireside on Good Friday. She and her husband were dressed for Church.


What happened next was something that I'd done many many times myself in the past when meeting less active members of the Church. She said "You're welcome to join us if you'd like". There was no malice, no mean spirit, if anything a little humour because I think she knew what the response would be.


What struck me though was that I was identified as a less active Church member. I hadn't really thought of myself like that before, so this was a new experience. It's been two and half years since I stopped going to Church, besides a close friend's child's baptism, I've not stepped inside an LDS chapel since. It hasn't been a conscious decision to not step in a Church, there just hasn't been a reason to do so.


How did I feel? Nothing much really, it just caused me to reflect a little. My girlfriend had watched the recent April 2012 General Conference and suggested I take a look at Elder Uchtdorf's talk. He talks of mercy and as has been my experience, many LDS folks don't seem to get mercy. He also cites a bumper sticker he saw which said:

"Don't judge me because I sin differently to you".

What a great sticker. As I've said in my blog previously, I've been richly blessed with wonderful LDS friends who have not judged and have loved me for who I am. However I read many blogs from Gay LDS members in the US and other parts of the world. However the US seems to be the worst, I wish all Gay LDS could move to Australia, life is good. It really does get better.