Distance Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder

My partner went home to Iran two and a half weeks ago, he's due home this coming Easter Sunday. We've emailed almost daily and had a Skype chat or two.


I've managed to keep myself busy, work has been very busy and I managed to arrange dinner dates with friends to distract myself in his absence.


The thing I hate the most is going to bed alone, which generally translates to me staying up and watching tv or working and going to bed as I fall asleep on my keyboard or on the couch.


Mum came to visit for 6 days last week, it was great to have her in town. She and my partner get along really well which means so much to me.


I had a friend stay over last night, he's heading home to Canada for a few weeks. He lives about an hour by train from the airport. We're literally 2 min train ride to the airport. So staying over here last night meant he could get up at a reasonable hour and be at the airport in minutes.


His partner dropped in to say hi, it was the first time I've met him. He's a dashingly handsome Colombian.


This weekend I'm heading to Canberra, the national capital, with a girlfriend and we'll stay with her brother. Then home Saturday night so I'm here in time to pick up my man when he arrives home at 6:30am Sunday from the Middle East.


So three weeks of being alone will be replaced with the familiar sounds of my partner being home. Being in a relationship with someone you love is worth more than I can express.


If this is something you're pondering, don't wait until your mid thirties like I did, grab life with two hands and grab that someone you love with both hands and take a chance. It's worth the outcome.


One other thing. The coming out process has been so much easier than I thought. I have a good friend, his wife and daughters coming to visit from Melbourne this Easter weekend. I finally came out to them on a business trip to Melbourne a few months ago. They were cool, they want to meet my partner, so we're catching up this Easter weekend.


Of all my LDS (Mormon) friends, whom I've come out to, have been supportive of me and my decision. I've been so lucky, but at the same time these are people I've loved and cared for over many years. Should my sexuality change that relationship? I don't think so.


Please share your experiences so anyone else reading this blog may gain some insight into the coming out process.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

On Friday my partner flew home to the Middle East, he's gone for three weeks. He hasn't been home for two years, so seeing family will be extra special this visit. In addition his grandmother passed away a few months ago, so this visit will be tinged with sadness.


I'm missing him already, in addition I have a toothache which I'm sure is going to result in an extraction.


The pain killers and the odd G&T are helping keep the discomfort at bay until I can get to the dentist on Monday.


From time to time I question the level of my love for my partner, I think this is more about self doubt than anything else. I had this conversation many years ago with a close family friend, almost my second mother. I told her I couldn't understand why someone would love me like a lover should.


She responded that I deserve that love and that anyone would be lucky to have me. That was nice for my ego, but it reinforced for me that I deserve all the love possible that comes from a relationship.


That my life has played out in such a way that I'm lucky enough to find a man to love and to be loved in return, means the world to me.


I'm at a point in my life where I feel I deserve that love and enjoy the ability to give that love.


So, with my partner away I remain here at home confident in the love I have for him and he for me.

Happy Mardi Gras from Sydney

Apologies for my absence, it's been almost 12 months. This coming Saturday Sydney will host the Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. This Mardi Gras will be extra special, my mum is coming in from out of town and my sister will be flying in from South Australia. It will be a fun evening, we're living it up at the GlamStand with great views of the parade.

A photo of some Christians who can carry that title with pride.
SOURCE:  Craig Jewell Photography

The past twelve months have been pretty awesome. Living with my partner has provided challenges and delights, more delights than challenges. Work is going well, we're busy which is a relief given the current state of the global economy.


I'll do my best to get back on track with a few more regular posts. Thank you for your support and comments. I also need to tabulate the survey results, thank you to the 53 people who responded, I will get these results out in the next month or so. I've just finished a major survey for work, so I should do it while my brain is in that zone.

I've Moved in with my Man

Hi everyone


My partner and I have finally made the move and found an apartment for us to call home. We're now 25 mins from work, close to the Sydney downtown area and close to Sydney Airport. The move was pretty seamless, we got movers to help us with the heavy stuff. My partner was overwhelmed with the amount of 'stuff' I have. I've managed to throw quote a bit away, which is always a good thing.


Living with a room-mate/flat-mate is not new, but sharing the bed and moving into a home with my lover is a whole new experience. I'm loving it! There's been some compromise, but it's all good. I'm finding that making sacrifices for someone that you love is a really nice process.


As we made the few ritualistic trips to IKEA to find those very specific storage solutions, coming home we had to put them together. As we were on the floor assembling IKEA shelves, I looked to my partner and I said, "two is really so much nicer than one". On the surface, assembling IKEA with two is really so much easier than one. But, for many other reasons, two is really so much nicer than one.

R U LDS? Will you take my Survey?

Hi Everyone,


A number of months ago I posted a message inviting Gay LDS (Mormon's) to participate in a survey that I'm conducting to support a book I'm writing.


The response has been great and reading your comments has at times been heart wrenching - thank you for being so honest and open in your comments.


I wanted to post the link here again for those that may not have taken the survey. It's only 10 questions and will take you no more than 6 minutes to complete. It's anonymous and I'll have no idea who you are unless you include your name and email in the comments field.


I need to get at least 20 more responses. If you know any gay LDS who you feel might be happy to answer a few questions, you'd make my day if you'd share the link or this blog with them.


Thanks for your help and as promised I'll publish the initial results and review here on the blog within the next few months pending me getting the right number of responses.


Simply click here to complete the survey.


Thank you


db

My Boyfriend, Christmas and the Family!

Hi everyone - it's late, a long day at work and for some reason I feel like blogging - nuts! But, I have some things to share. As Dan Savage says, "it really does get better".

This past Christmas, my partner and I went to spend Christmas with my mum, my sister and her family and my extended family. Mum and my partner have met a number of times before and they adore each other, that's awesome. It warms my heart that they're so close - it makes me a little nervous too :-)

However, it was the first time my sister, her husband the four kids and the extended family met him. I was a little nervous for him and also for myself. But, I had no reason to be, everyone was so cool. It was as though he'd been a part of the family forever. I was relieved and overjoyed.

Just this past week, I was on SKYPE with my 8 year old niece and she asked after my partner. "Is he there?" she said. No was the answer, we don't live together yet. She was adorable that she would think to ask after him. Ok, I'm a sap, I had a little tear in my eye.

At the end of next month we're moving into together. We found a fabulous brand new apartment just south of Sydney CBD (city) and we're very excited. I'm looking forward to building a home with the man I love. Corny perhaps, but I'm really excited.

Here I am, 39 years old and excited that I'm moving in with my boyfriend, my partner and my lover. He's never had a flat mate or room mate before, that may be a challenge in itself. But I can't wait. We want to do all the silly gay things you'd expect, decorate, coordinate, buy a King size bed, have matching towels etc etc.

So, if you're a teenager and your'e struggling with your sexuality. I promise you, it really does get better. You don't have to wait until you're 39 like me. As soon as I left high school it got better.

Please share your experiences with family meeting your partners so others can see that it doesn't have to be a nightmare experience.

DADT - A National Joke

Don't Ask Don't Tell

Perhaps I'm too young, but I really don't know what the policy was in the US Armed Forces before Clinton introduced Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT). I assume it wasn't a good thing, at least DADT allowed gay service men and women to have ownership over outing themselves.

But that was a long time ago, it's 2010 and most civilised societies have realised that gay service men and women have no impact on their straight colleagues. Australia, The U.K., Israel, New Zealand and a number of other countries have had their gay and straight service men and women mixing for many years. Their military forces haven't been depleted, their societies haven't collapsed.

I think this cartoon explains so well how stupid the DADT policy is.

I'm sure as service men and women go into battle it's critical they know that the person next to them is gay. Come on USA, join with the rest of the civilised world, repeal DADT and while your'e at it you need to get rid of capital punishment. You're really hanging with the wrong crowd on that one.